I actually have a lot going on at school and I still need to apply for scholarships, but I finally made my college decision this weekend.

Supposing I get accepted to Berkeley, I will go. Chances are I’ll change my major. Ninety percent of people who go in with a decided major change it anyways. I’ll study what I like, and if it comes down to choosing between two subjects, I will. It’s an amazing school, and the little freshman me would die if I didn’t go there. It would be so awesome. If I don’t get accepted into Berkeley, I will be going to SDSU. Hayley and I are in the Honors Program and will therefore be roommates. It’ll be inexpensive and a really nice education considering all my classes will be small. That’s it. It’s that simple.

So, I’m just waiting for the day I find out if I get accepted into Berkeley or not.

San Francisco would be nice, but it’s more expensive than staying here where I can go home to eat and do laundry and keep my well-paying job as a music teacher. As well as a nice deal for college. Plus, I don’t feel the need to run from my mistakes or my memories. I used to be so bitter and think this was a hell hole. It was, but not because of the city itself. Memories, yes. My current state, yes. But mostly it was me. Hayley will laugh but I believe I’m using the metaphor correctly, I was trapped in my own bell jar. It was nothing but me and my own disgusting wall of fear and hate that made me feel trapped. That time long since passed, I grew up. I stopped hating myself so much, and I realized there’s nothing worth hating and hurting myself like that. This town was never the problem, and it doesn’t matter what it was, I’ve let it go. 

I like what my future would be here. It’s not like I’ll see anyone I don’t want to see. That’s entirely up to me now.